_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 5:21:00 am__
- - - - - + + - - - - -
its high time~
that i should try to live my life the way i want to~
i've been restricted by one too many~
maybe its best if i'd remain single thru my entire life~
everything is burning~
and i wanna end everything~
all the unhappiness~
all the sadness~
all the freaking anguish~
all the unexpected outcomes~
time is too short to stop for anything~
i should just let on~
disappear~
into thin air~
and just sleep an eternal sleep~
that way my parent's should be happy~
after all i fell out with them when i was still with maki~
relatives who cared for me too~
i fell out with all of them~
seems like~
everything's just gone~
if i'm ever gone~
they'd just be rejoicing~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 4:44:00 am__
- - - - - + + - - - - -
as much as i can't take it~
all i can say~
is~
i love you as always~
and that fact never changes~
although i know i'd get hurt~
although i know i'd be scorned at~
although i know i'd be thick skinned~
all i ever wanted was to love you~
take care~
more and more blood~
more and more appetite-less~
more and more painful attacks~
there's nothing i can do~
docs suspect that i have tubercolosis~
what can i do?
life is short~
hur~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 10:34:00 pm__
- - - - - + + - - - - -
still remember this conversation?
in irc~
private chat~
i always kept it~
i love u as much as always~
______________________________________
11:31:17] maki`emo>dear
11:31:28] izgnil>?
11:31:41] maki`emo>rem ur lunch
11:31:46] maki`emo>dont skip everytime
11:32:08] izgnil>ok
11:32:10] maki`emo>ytd u slp le ah?
11:32:16] izgnil>yeah
11:32:39] izgnil>i slept at arnd 10+
11:32:49] maki`emo>so pig ah
11:32:50] maki`emo>haha
11:32:53] izgnil>o.o
11:33:01] maki`emo>today np got wgt
11:33:07] maki`emo>kw team nw playing
11:33:11] izgnil>o.o
11:33:40] izgnil>i was supposed to work for wgt on the 28th
11:33:42] izgnil>=/
11:33:46] *Maki`EMO muack iZgNiL
11:33:50] izgnil>o.o
11:34:11] *Maki`EMO muack iZgNiL
11:34:12] 8Maki`EMO muack iZgNiL
11:34:12] *Maki`EMO muack iZgNiL
11:34:31] *Maki`EMO hug iZgNiL
11:34:35] izgnil>O.o
11:34:49] izgnil>last time its always me doing it
11:34:52] izgnil>=/
11:35:48] maki`emo>i didnt give u tat attention
11:35:54] maki`emo>nw i giving all to u
11:37:39] maki`emo>laopo
11:38:02] izgnil>?
11:38:30] maki`emo>later i come fetch u
11:38:59] izgnil>dun nid bah
11:39:21] maki`emo>y sia
11:39:46] izgnil>nth
11:41:50] maki`emo>gxl u was there?
11:42:50] izgnil>yeah
11:42:53] izgnil>i was there
11:43:02] maki`emo>y on ur blog u say late
11:43:18] maki`emo>laopo
11:43:23] maki`emo>i love u
11:43:25] maki`emo>yes i do
11:43:34] maki`emo>i`ll b with u
11:43:45] maki`emo>as long as u wan me go
11:43:50] maki`emo>until e end of time
11:44:48] maki`emo>dear?
11:44:50] izgnil>?
11:44:55] izgnil>sry i was on the phone
11:44:59] izgnil>with moi mum
11:45:01] maki`emo>o ok
11:46:03] maki`emo>nw still on ah
11:46:43] izgnil>nope
11:46:47] izgnil>just put down
11:48:31] maki`emo>dear
11:48:59] izgnil>?
11:49:10] maki`emo>u still angry ah
11:49:14] izgnil>why?
11:49:52] maki`emo>sry i was stupid
11:50:10] maki`emo>can u forgive me
11:50:29] izgnil>how was you stupid?
11:50:44] maki`emo>i was being a mutuo
11:52:29] izgnil>mu tou?
11:52:31] izgnil>=/
11:52:43] izgnil>louise said "dumbass"
11:52:45] izgnil>=/
11:53:22] maki`emo>she scold me
11:53:38] izgnil>she scold you what?
11:53:38] maki`emo>wooden block dumbass insensitive creature
11:53:53] maki`emo>pro in gaming , very lan in games of love
11:55:00] maki`emo>i tink tats all she said
11:55:21] izgnil>okie
11:55:37] maki`emo>lao po forgive me plz
11:56:44] maki`emo>e regrets keep striking deep into my heart
11:57:06] maki`emo>i realise e pain u gone thru
11:57:43] maki`emo>hao bu hao
11:58:09] maki`emo>let us cont ur love story
11:58:17] yrcgnil>cont?
11:58:19] yrcgnil>how?
11:58:26] yrcgnil>when moi heart is in shreds?
11:58:42] maki`emo>y is it shreds
11:58:44] maki`emo>dear dont cry
11:59:14] maki`emo>even its in shreds its my doing
11:59:18] maki`emo>let me piece em back
11:59:45] maki`emo>its our love story
11:59:47] maki`emo>our promise
12:02:39] yrcgnil>promise?
12:02:42] yrcgnil>=/
12:02:46] maki`emo>?
12:03:27] yrcgnil>moi heart is torn apart already
12:05:08] maki`emo>fix em back
12:05:49] maki`emo>u kick ban me for?
12:06:08] yrcgnil>nope
12:06:21] yrcgnil>its a discussion
12:06:22] yrcgnil>=/
12:06:31] maki`emo>wa dicussion
12:07:59] yrcgnil>u wanna go in the channel again?
12:08:01] yrcgnil>ok le
12:08:20] maki`emo>wa u hiding
12:08:36] yrcgnil>i am not hiding anything
12:08:44] maki`emo>i dont care wa they say
12:09:03] maki`emo>its ur words tat i care for
12:11:14] maki`emo>wa u dicuss abt?
12:11:17] yrcgnil>care?
12:11:21] yrcgnil>hiz
12:11:22] yrcgnil>haiz
12:11:31] maki`emo>yes c a r e
12:11:38] yrcgnil>some things are not meant to be seen
12:12:16] maki`emo>u still zai hu wo ma
12:12:50] yrcgnil>yeah
12:12:53] yrcgnil>but what the point?
12:13:01] yrcgnil>you dun appreciate it
12:13:07] maki`emo>i do
12:13:27] maki`emo>u already explain to u e every lil actions i do
12:14:27] yrcgnil>i'm still neglected
12:14:33] yrcgnil>left alone
12:14:41] maki`emo>now u r not alone
12:14:49] maki`emo>i`ll b always by ur side
12:14:49] yrcgnil>and i am afraid of being left alone
12:15:05] maki`emo>u mean now still neglected?
12:16:03] maki`emo>dear?
12:16:20] yrcgnil>yes?
12:16:23] yrcgnil>yeah
12:16:29] maki`emo>nw?
12:16:44] maki`emo>am i doing not enuf
12:17:34] maki`emo>if ur office allow to
12:17:37] maki`emo>i come now
12:17:52] yrcgnil>nvm
12:18:01] yrcgnil>there's no need
12:18:02] yrcgnil>T_T
12:18:35] maki`emo>o shit
12:18:38] maki`emo>u nv go eat
12:18:45] maki`emo>u eating?
12:18:58] yrcgnil>i haben eat yet
12:19:11] maki`emo>go eat then
12:19:50] maki`emo>u eating?
12:20:01] yrcgnil>not yet
12:20:02] maki`emo>or skipping
12:20:03] yrcgnil>later
12:20:05] maki`emo>o
12:20:09] yrcgnil>maybe skipping
12:20:12] yrcgnil>no apetite
12:21:12] maki`emo>hw can u forgive me
12:23:18] maki`emo>dear..
12:23:25] depressed>?
12:23:44] maki`emo>hw can u forgive me
12:24:58] maki`emo>if i land myself in hospital now , will it b different
12:25:23] depressed>what are you thinkg?
12:28:34] maki`emo>nth
12:28:58] maki`emo>wa time u gonna eat
12:29:46] maki`emo>dear?
12:30:15] depressed>?
12:30:17] depressed>dunno
12:30:22] depressed>see first
12:31:24] maki`emo>dear as long as u r there
12:31:34] maki`emo>i love u is dedicated to u
12:32:46] maki`emo>lets abide to e promise hao bu hao
12:32:52] maki`emo>i know i been in wrong
12:33:02] maki`emo>u gotta let me repent for my doings
12:33:45] maki`emo>laopo ke yi ma
12:34:14] depressed>how would i know if you wouldn't revert back
12:34:15] depressed>T_T
12:34:59] maki`emo>im awake from e hibernation
12:35:08] depressed>hibernation?
12:35:14] depressed>since when are you in hibernation?
12:35:37] maki`emo>how u know i wont revert back
12:35:59] maki`emo>u scare i revert back?
12:36:09] depressed>VERY SCARED
12:36:25] maki`emo>i never doubt u
12:36:33] maki`emo>n i always said
12:36:37] maki`emo>nv doubt a maki
12:36:41] depressed>=)
12:36:46] depressed>yeah i know tt
12:37:04] depressed>i'm going out for lunch
12:37:05] depressed>bbl
12:37:09] maki`emo>k
12:37:15] maki`emo>ard wa time back
12:37:25] depressed>dunno
12:37:31] depressed>130 like tt
12:37:38] maki`emo>tell me when u get back ok
12:37:42] maki`emo>enjoy ur meal dear
13:12:04] depressed>back
13:13:31] maki`emo>wa u eat
13:13:50] daedgnil>horfun
13:13:57] daedgnil>later needa puke again le
13:13:59] daedgnil>argh
13:14:07] maki`emo>?
13:14:09] maki`emo>wa happen
13:14:19] maki`emo>e drugs effect?
13:14:33] daedgnil>moi anti-depressant medicine will cause me to puke out whatever i ate
13:15:06] maki`emo>tat med eat b4 meal or after?
13:15:30] daedgnil>once every night b4 sleep
13:15:42] daedgnil>but the side effects will last the whole day
13:15:49] maki`emo>..
13:15:58] maki`emo>no wonder u feel weak
13:16:03] maki`emo>no energy
13:16:41] maki`emo>u dont tink of puke
13:16:43] maki`emo>cant control 1
13:16:49] maki`emo>i mean can
13:17:03] daedgnil>mine will come out itself de
13:17:06] daedgnil>i can't control
13:17:08] daedgnil>T_T
13:17:17] maki`emo>i help u control lo
13:17:19] maki`emo>haha
13:18:00] daedgnil>...
13:18:15] maki`emo>will tk care of u ma
13:18:18] maki`emo>hehe
13:19:50] maki`emo>no more angry or
13:20:10] daedgnil>.
13:20:49] maki`emo>. mean or rite
13:21:24] *dAeDgNiL headache
13:21:26] daedgnil>bbl
13:21:37] maki`emo>k
13:21:50] maki`emo>hw long
13:22:04] daedgnil>dunno
13:22:08] daedgnil>head damn pain
13:22:22] maki`emo>ur med all taken?
13:22:27] daedgnil>nope
13:22:36] daedgnil>i hate med
13:22:39] daedgnil>argh
13:22:41] maki`emo>u must hav miss out
13:22:43] maki`emo>something
13:22:51] maki`emo>i feed u next time
13:22:58] daedgnil>i only missed out moi inhaler
13:23:03] daedgnil>feed me what?
13:23:09] maki`emo>med lo
13:23:11] daedgnil>.
13:23:15] daedgnil>dun nid
13:23:19] daedgnil>bah
13:24:22] maki`emo>y u so harsh to me
13:24:56] daedgnil>harsh?
13:25:16] daedgnil>i i were harsh i wouldn't be talking already...
13:25:17] daedgnil>haiz
13:25:50] maki`emo>o
13:26:07] maki`emo>then dont say nvm n dun nid again
13:26:11] maki`emo>say ok
13:26:12] maki`emo>or ya
13:26:16] daedgnil>.
13:27:55] maki`emo>forgiven granted?
13:28:00] dead->.
13:28:48] maki`emo>dear?
13:28:58] dead->what?
13:29:15] maki`emo>grant ok?
13:29:17] maki`emo>or
13:29:23] dead->no
13:29:40] maki`emo>why
13:30:28] dead->you know how tired i am?
13:30:49] maki`emo>i know
13:30:54] dead->how?
13:31:06] maki`emo>very extreme
13:31:33] dead->do you know tt i am too tired? too tired to the point tt i just feel like dying
13:32:23] maki`emo>u scare i revert is it
13:33:05] dead->tt is one thing i am afraid of
13:33:15] maki`emo>and wads other?
13:33:26] dead->and plus i am very very afraid to be alone
13:33:35] maki`emo>i wont leave u alone
13:33:57] dead->do you know that there were times when you were not at home and i am the only one at home?
13:34:06] dead->do you know how i survived?
13:34:28] dead->i curled moiseld up in a corner and fell asleep until you brp came back
13:34:36] dead->bro*
13:34:40] dead->moiself*
13:34:55] maki`emo>yeah
13:35:05] maki`emo>and tat day u relapse
13:35:12] maki`emo>i throw off my work
13:35:23] maki`emo>n went to hospital
13:35:45] maki`emo>my bro got work early
13:35:49] maki`emo>i send him back
13:36:04] maki`emo>e nurse say u coma
13:36:13] maki`emo>i ask him to call me asap u wake up
13:36:19] maki`emo>he didnt do so
13:36:26] maki`emo>until u came b in e morning
13:36:49] dead->tt's not the only time...
13:37:09] dead->there were times i fainted back at your house when i am alone
13:37:17] maki`emo>dear
13:37:26] maki`emo>we r talking abt now
13:37:28] maki`emo>n future
13:37:43] maki`emo>if u bring up past
13:38:04] dead->then?
13:38:45] maki`emo>we dont live in past
13:38:56] dead->and?
13:38:56] maki`emo>we pave towards future
13:39:58] maki`emo>tat times tat u r alone
13:40:02] maki`emo>i wrking
13:40:06] maki`emo>n came b asap
13:40:08] dead->yeah
13:40:19] dead->tt's why i never told you
13:40:30] maki`emo>but i realise myself
13:40:34] maki`emo>i stop my wrk
13:40:38] maki`emo>but i didnt tell u
13:41:05] dead->why didn't you tell me?
13:41:25] maki`emo>i dont wan u to worry too
13:41:31] maki`emo>liek u do
13:41:34] maki`emo>coz u love me
13:41:38] maki`emo>n i do too
13:42:59] maki`emo>didnt u realise after e incident
13:43:06] maki`emo>i go wrk lesser then no more
13:43:22] dead->which incident?
13:43:33] maki`emo>e above i mention
13:43:39] maki`emo>coz i dont wan u to b alone
13:44:02] maki`emo>i admit i m very into e games
13:45:15] dead->uh huh
13:46:15] maki`emo>dear hw will u forgive me
13:47:28] maki`emo>if i dont care or love
13:47:36] maki`emo>i wont b here trying so hard
13:48:49] maki`emo>dear u there?
13:48:53] dead->ya
13:48:53] dead->ya
13:49:56] maki`emo>i rly trying hard
13:50:16] maki`emo>to go on with our love story
13:51:12] maki`emo>dear u bz?
13:52:08] dead->nope
13:52:11] dead->but very tired
13:52:21] maki`emo>u ok ma
13:52:37] dead->yeah
13:52:43] dead->but head damn dizzy
13:54:02] maki`emo>relax
13:55:25] maki`emo>drink some water
13:56:47] maki`emo>feeling better ma
13:57:49] maki`emo>dear u resting?
14:05:22] dead->bth
14:05:42] maki`emo>?
14:06:05] maki`emo>u scare me sia
14:06:14] maki`emo>u fell aslp?
14:07:30] maki`emo>dear?
14:09:01] maki`emo>dear u bth wa
14:43:48] dead->not fell asleep
14:43:54] dead->i went away from the computer
14:43:58] dead->back to moi seat
14:44:04] dead->to rest
14:44:05] dead->coz
14:44:08] dead->head damn pain
14:44:12] dead->damn dizzy
14:44:25] dead->feels like i'm floating or something
14:44:29] maki`emo>i was worried
14:45:48] maki`emo>i dunno where to dl those funky stuff
14:45:52] maki`emo>only got default 1
14:46:10] dead->huh>
14:46:15] dead->diaoz
14:46:19] maki`emo>e kiss thing lo
14:46:27] *Maki`EMO muacks kelly dear dear
14:46:27] dead->o
14:47:24] dead->you asked louise to call me?
14:47:28] dead->O.o
14:47:32] maki`emo>ya
14:47:41] maki`emo>i tht wa happen to u
14:47:54] maki`emo>u also dont wan ans my calls
14:49:46] izgnil>.
14:54:38] maki`emo>gt feel any better?
14:54:53] izgnil>nope
15:30:28] maki`emo>y u haiz
15:30:40] izgnil>head gonna burst soon
15:31:11] maki`emo>chill abit
15:31:12] maki`emo>relax
15:42:24] maki`emo>dear..
15:42:43] izgnil>?
15:43:06] maki`emo>i wait for u at e same place later
15:43:36] izgnil>dun nid la
15:44:18] maki`emo>i will b there
15:44:23] izgnil>.
15:44:54] maki`emo>k
15:48:38] maki`emo>i still owe u those muacks
15:49:18] maki`emo>rite dear?
15:49:53] maki`emo>?
15:51:00] izgnil>.
15:52:42] maki`emo>u still rem tat time u hide ur past from me
15:52:45] maki`emo>then u told me
15:54:02] maki`emo>rem ma?
15:54:16] izgnil>which paste?
15:54:28] maki`emo>e les thing
15:54:35] izgnil>LOL
15:54:37] izgnil>ya?
15:54:58] maki`emo>i nv depise u or blame u wa
15:55:38] izgnil>then?
15:56:32] maki`emo>u juz dont wan forgive me?
15:57:33] izgnil>u wun be able to take care of me... as what i went thru last time...
15:57:45] maki`emo>hw u know i wont
15:58:13] maki`emo>i trying n u don accept my every effort
15:58:20] izgnil>even though i love you... but haiz...
15:58:47] maki`emo>y cant we cont our storry
15:59:59] maki`emo>i care i cherish i love
16:00:04] maki`emo>tats y i doing all these
16:00:41] maki`emo>i know it wont b ez
16:00:49] maki`emo>but i alrdy decide
16:01:03] maki`emo>but u dont make it so hard ma
16:01:37] maki`emo>dear?
16:20:05] izgnil>?
16:35:34] maki`emo>so
16:42:23] izgnil>?
16:42:26] izgnil>so what?
16:44:06] maki`emo>dont blame her
16:44:09] maki`emo>she trying to help
16:44:25] izgnil>i never blame her
16:44:33] maki`emo>i know
16:44:37] maki`emo>u blame me
16:45:20] maki`emo>wads e main issue
16:45:28] maki`emo>me being engross n neglect u?
16:47:02] maki`emo>dear?
16:47:11] izgnil>yes?
16:52:32] maki`emo>tats e main concern?
16:52:47] izgnil>primarily yes
16:54:27] maki`emo>secondary?
16:57:07] maki`emo>wads e secondary
16:57:25] izgnil>haiz
16:57:30] izgnil>i dunno what to say
16:57:40] izgnil>moi dad hates your hair too =/
16:57:48] maki`emo>..
16:57:55] maki`emo>coz its dyed?
16:58:07] izgnil>he says its too erm... golden
16:58:22] maki`emo>or
16:58:31] maki`emo>note taken
16:58:51] maki`emo>its u
16:58:58] maki`emo>im concern of
16:59:06] izgnil>me?
16:59:10] maki`emo>yes
16:59:46] izgnil>after each time i asked you something all i felt was moi heart had been slowly ripped into bits and pieces
17:00:09] maki`emo>ask me wa
17:00:22] izgnil>alot of things
17:00:23] izgnil>=/
17:00:27] maki`emo>when situation comes
17:00:29] maki`emo>i m so lost
17:00:43] maki`emo>cant speak n tink well
17:01:16] maki`emo>u mean now
17:01:25] maki`emo>regarding to e things u ask?
17:03:07] maki`emo>?
17:04:44] izgnil>nvm already
17:04:51] izgnil>i've got nth to say le
17:05:00] maki`emo>[16:51]
17:05:07] maki`emo>if i tell u
17:05:17] maki`emo>u will skip more meals
17:05:24] maki`emo>dont tk money from me
17:05:32] maki`emo>rite?
17:05:56] maki`emo>tat is wa i dont wish to c
17:06:03] maki`emo>so i kept from u
17:06:24] maki`emo>coz i dont wan u to suffer
17:07:22] izgnil>even though you dun say
17:07:31] izgnil>i also refrained from taking money from you
17:07:41] izgnil>unless i really have no choice
17:07:45] maki`emo>at least u wil tk ma
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 7:32:00 am__
- - - - - + + - - - - -
if only i could turn back time~
if only i could say goodbye~
i'd wish i was never born~
i'd wish how time would not have been short for me~
i'd wish for love~
care~
concern~
Maki, i love you~
truly... madly... deeply~
believe it or not~
its up to you~
my time is limited~
i have been coughing too much~
too much blood~
my mind is in a whirl~
but~
who cares?
hur~
I'm nothing but a speck of dust~
a fallen leaf~
a spilt milk~
loving maki will be difficult for me~
but~
i just can't stop loving him~
b4 i noticed~
he'd already became the air that i breathe~
i love the hugs and kisses~
i love it when he said those three words and whisper them in my ear~
how i'd wish all those times are back~
Where have all the good times gone~
two years in this relationship~
its impossible~
and increasingly difficult to just put it down and go away~
haiz~
i haven't eat much lately~
the moment food goes into my mouth~
i have the urge to puke it all out~
moreover~
i had no money to eat or even go anywhere~
all i had left~
was the 5 bucks left~
from what maki gave me~
i can't eat~
i can't sleep~
i can't do anything~
i kept thinking about maki~
couldn't stop it~
i knew that it'd hurt alot to think about it~
but~
i can't help it~
its like butterflies attracted to fire~
because of the beauty of the fire~
the butterflies are attracted to it~
thus they flew towards it~
even if they knew that they'll be burnt~
just because the fire is too beautiful to resist~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 6:18:00 am__
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005
|1:52:00 AM|
hmm...
got back home just now...
lol
i was at kbox today...
it was fun!
lol
at first i dun dare to sing...
scared will tio laughed at...
but until behind...
i start to open up abit...
lolx...
it was hilarious...
haha...
den when i was singing some songs...
someone was staring at me...
den i cover moi face...
dun let tt person see...
haha...
lolx...
damn joke...
I was very happy today...
or should i say its da first time i am so damn happy in moi life...
able to go out have fun with ppl i noe...
being able to laugh...
to be honest...
i almost forgot how to smile or laugh...
until recently...
haha...
hope tt things can be like this forever...
geez...
lolx...
I aM lOsT iN mY oWn WoRlD oF tHoUgHtS...
this whole entire post was taken from my first blog~
on the day we got together~
how could i ever forget this day~
how meaningful it was too me~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 5:30:00 am__
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Monday, October 03, 2005
|3:28:00 PM|
HaIz...
WhAt Is TrUe LoVe...?
WhErE aRe YoU?
wIlL i EvEr FiNd YoU?
wIlL i EvEr EvEr KnOw YoU?
dO yOu EvEn ExIsTs?
BuT mOsT iMpOrTaNtLy...
WiLl I eVeR tOuCh LoVe AgAiN?
wIlL i FiNd SoMeOnE wHo CaN fInD mY hEaRt...?
wIlL i FiNd SoMeOnE wHo CaN mEnD mY hEaRt...?
Do I bElIeVe In LoVe AnYmOrE?
i Am In A mEsS...
mY lIfE iS iN a MeSs...
eVeRyThInG sEeMs To Be In DiSoRdEr...
HoW tHe HeLl DiD i SuRvIvE?
i Do NoT kNoW...
lIfE sUcKs...
Do I hAvE tHe WiLl To LiVe AnYmOrE?
i Do NoT kNoW...
wHeRe WiLl I gO?
wHaT wIlL i Do?
WiLl I bE aBlE tO sUrViVe AnYmOrE bLoWs BeInG dEaLt To MoI hEaRt?
WiLl I eNd Up LiKe ThE oPpOnEnT's HeRoEs In DoTa?
WiLl I eVeR hAvE wInGs, Be CaReFrEe AnD fLy To WhErE i LiKe?
I aM lOsT iN mY oWn WoRlD oF tHoUgHtS...
another post i found on my previous blog~
this was posted before i met maki darling~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 5:29:00 am__
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i guess now the song that is most suitable for me would be this one...
"Son By Four - Purest of Pain"
It is a nice song...
_____________________________________________
Artist:
son by four
Album:
purest of pain
Title:
purest of pain
Sorry didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
and so I surrendered, just to hear your voice.
Don't know how many times I said I'm gonna live without you,
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you,
but there's something, baby you need to know.
That deep inside me, I feel like I'm dying. I have to see you,
it's all that I'm asking.
*chorus*
Vida, give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
the air that I breathe.
Cariño mio, my world's become so empty.
The days are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste the purest of pain.
Quisiera decirte que hoy estoy de maravilla
que no me ha afectado lo de tu partida
pero con un dedo no se tapa el sol.
Estoy muriendo, muriendo por verte.
Agonizando, muy lento y muy fuerte.
Vida, devuelveme mis fantasias,
mis ganas de vivir la vida,
devuelveme el aire.
Cariño mio, sin tin yo me siento vacio,
las tardes son un laberinto, las nochesme saben, a puro dolor.
-chorus-
(repeat chorus again softly)
Vida, give me back my fantasy.
The courage that I need to live,
the air that I breathe.
Cariño mio, my world's become so empty.
The days are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste the purest of pain.
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it.
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
and so I surrendered just to hear your voice
i don't know what to say~
its from my previous blog also~
hur~
haiz~
fits perfectly i guess~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 5:28:00 am__
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you said you'd be coming~
but you never did turn up~
you never did~
you said you'd call me~
but u never did~
i called you~
you never picked the phone~
am i simply trash? can you at least please tell me?
i wanted to see you~
why wouldn't u appear?
am i that redundant to u?
T_T
I'm breaking apart~
words can never ever describe how disappointed i am~
i thought you'd at least appear~
but you never did~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 3:21:00 am__
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darling maki~
i <3 u so~
nothing can describe what i'm feeling~
words can't describe~
I'm losing sleep~
I'm crying so much that i can't recognise myself anymore~
day by day~
all i can only think of is u~
baby miyuki told me not to think too much about it~
but~
I can't do it~
my heart hurts everytime i think about u~
and all i ever wanted was to have u by my side~
you're all i wanted~
i feel so lost without u~
i missed you dearly~
all in all~
all i wanted to say is that i love u~
like how i whispered it in your ears that other night~
sorry u had to see me in that state~
sorry for causing u trouble~
sorry for causing worry~
sorry for wasting ur tissue~
sorry for all the blood i choke up~
sorry for everything~
but darling~
i want u to know~
that i love u~
and i only want u~
T_T
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 4:46:00 pm__
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Maki~
I love you~
i seriously do~
Please~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 11:28:00 am__
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Please god see me thru all this~
i can't take it anymore~
its christmas and i'm all alone~
Maki threw me at home~
earlier on~
he wore a shirt~
i asked him~
why is he wearing one when he normally doesn't wear~
his reply was that he was cold~
then after a short nap later~
I woke up to find that he's gone~
I cried~
i spammed his phone~
spammed his phone 2756894236 times~
no one answered~
all that got thru was the cold sound of ringing~
Nothing else happened~
When finally the phone rang~
i picked up~
its his sis~
My heart crashed~
Thanks Maki~
Thanks for crushing my heart leaving me all bloodied~
I'm lost~
I'm neglected~
I'm unwanted~
I'm just Trash~
I'm just a useless bitch~
I'm alone~
I'm bloodied~
This will be a silent night for me~
as i sleep eternally in peace~
ciaoz~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 9:23:00 pm__
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Maki went out again~
leaving me at home alone~
fk~
Tmd~
I'm cryng hell~
I haven't ate a single thing since yesterday~
I feel so much like dying~
but i thought best not to~
I'm super unimportant to him in any manner~
he asked me just now~
"should u go?"
my answer~
"go la~! I'm not ur anybody~ you don't have to ask me~ I'm not important to you in anyway~ so go la~!"
I hate myself~
dammit~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 10:56:00 pm__
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i cried myself to sleep~
waking up just awhile ago~
maki went drinking with his friends~
what he told me was he's having dinner with his friends~
he left me at evo rotting~
and he enjoyed himself drinking and most probably flirting~
which is why he didn't want me to go when i say i wanna go with him~
and apparently he don't know that i wanna go~
he still asked me when we finally get home~
'you wanna go arh?'
nice one~
i'm seriously umimportant to that extent~
I'm just trash~
whatever~
my eyes are some puffy shiet~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:17:00 pm__
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Maki~
I simply hate u~
u just can't understand that i don't wanna be left alone~
especially in an environment in which i find it weird~
u ask me to be with someone whom i seldom speak to~
i'd rather die~
fk u~
i cried~
who will know?
coz simply put~
NOBODY BOTHERS~!
I JUST DON'T WANNA BE ALONE~!
CAN'T U JUST UNDERSTAND THAT FACT?!
I TEND TO GO SUPER CRANKY WHEN I'M ALONE~!
U SAW IT ONCE~
WHEN I'M ALONE~
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!
AM I TO YOU!
TRASH?
GARBAGE?
SOMEONE WHOM U CAN JUST USE AND THROW?!
damn it~
I'm fking holding back my tears~
fk it~
My bag is in ur hse~
how the fucking hell am i supposed to go home without my bag~!
ARGH~!
I HATE U~!
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 10:17:00 pm__
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New blog song~
☆唐禹哲 只欠一句 我爱你☆
☆爱我☆
☆词/曲:谢和弦☆
☆
你微微的笑温暖我心
让我有了冲劲动力
于是又鼓起了勇气
决定要疯狂爱上你
千千万万的爱意 等不及
凉风徐徐的提醒 我和你
只欠一句我爱你
没胆亲口告诉你
想要照顾你 好好疼你
只差一句你答应
点头说你也愿意
和我在一起 手牵着你
紧紧抱着你
盛夏的回忆 在偷偷想起
你就是剩下的唯一
我站在这里 用最真的心
想对你说请相信 我们之间距离
手牵着你 紧紧抱着你
☆...
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 4:45:00 pm__
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major revamp done today~
just finished it~
i have more to update~
^^
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 5:05:00 am__
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i dug this up~ >_<
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 6:15:00 am__
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and how do i turn back from
where i've gone wrong?
how do i keep from each tear that falls?
and won't there be someone to guide me through it all
i only wanted someone beside me
someone to talk to someone to guide me
but things never work out
the way you want them to
just know
i only wanted someone to talk to sorry
i thought i'd found it in you
haiz~
my thoughts~
my feelings~
all unanswered~
nobody's here alfter all~
hur~
i'm just plain stupid to think that there'll be someone~
_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 6:40:00 am__
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